


Brothers in Harm

by georges1982_96



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Child Abuse, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Homophobia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Rape, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-31
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-11-23 03:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/617406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/georges1982_96/pseuds/georges1982_96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Remus's brother shows up needing a place to stay, it dredges up a dark, painful past that Remus has been trying to escape. This is a Sirius/Remus raise Harry story. TRIGGERS: will contain abuse and possible sexual assault</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is AU, I guess, because Remus and Sirius have raised Harry. The events of the first two books did occur, but obviously the events of the third book wouldn't happen if Sirius was free, so I went from there and ran with it.
> 
> It is SLASH, so be warned. It will contain abuse and possible sexual assault (nothing graphic, if it happens). I haven't decided yet, but it most likely will, so if that is a trigger for you, don't read it. if anything else comes up, I will put a specific warning on that chapter.
> 
> I do not own Harry Potter or any of the character within, however awesome that would be.

Sirius rolled over in bed, pulling the soft sheets with him and burying his face in them in a fruitless effort to block the sun from his eyes. He groaned, slowly coming to terms with the fact that he wasn't getting any more sleep that morning.

"Morning, love."

Sirius propped himself up on his elbow and rubbed his eyes blearily, scowling at the man sitting up cross legged in bed next to him. "It's too early for you to be this awake."

"It's ten o' clock," Remus rolled his eyes. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "Even Harry's up by now."

Sirius grunted and pushed himself up so he was facing Remus. Remus was already dressed, wearing an old sweater with a stretched collar and worn jeans. His feet dug into Sirius's calves, and Sirius could feel the thick fabric of his socks.

"I made pancakes," Remus added, quirking an eyebrow at Sirius.

"You should have opened with that," Sirius grinned and leaned forward to press his lips to his partner's. Remus smiled against his mouth and pushed him away.

"Keep your morning breath to yourself," he muttered, but his smile made it hard for Sirius to believe he was really annoyed. He stood up and moved towards the doorway. Sirius caught his wrist and pulled him back towards the bed. The back of Remus's knees hit the bed frame and he was sent sprawling back onto the sheets. Sirius climbed on top of him and bent over him so their foreheads touched. Remus rolled his eyes and tried to look stern, but ended up smiling softly up at the dark haired man.

"I love you," Sirius said quietly, suddenly serious as he touched Remus's cheek. His hair curtained around them, tickling Remus's nose and blocking out the rest of the room from Remus's vision.

Remus tilted his head curiously and twined his fingers through Sirius's. "I love you, too. Are you okay?"

"Fine," Sirius replied, smiling brightly. Honestly, he was more than a little worried about Remus. Full moon was approaching fast, and the werewolf was paler than usual. Sirius had felt him tossing and turning last night and the lack of sleep showed in the light dusting of purple under his eyes.

"Come downstairs?" Remus asked quietly, straightening the front of Sirius's pajama shirt. He smoothed the fabric against Sirius's chest with his slim fingers.

"I'll be right there," Sirius brushed his nose against Remus's before rolling off of the smaller man. Remus stood up again and made it to the door successfully this time.

"Morning," Harry greeted his godfather when Sirius finally made it to the kitchen after pulling on a t-shirt and semi-clean pair of jeans. "Finally decide to grace us with your presence?"

"You should be honored," Sirius ruffled Harry's hair as he walked by and plopped into the seat next to him. He caught sight of Harry's empty plate on the table. "You ate without me? I'm hurt." He held a hand to his heart in a mock wounded gesture and flopped back in his chair.

Harry rolled his eyes and turned the page of the broom care manual Hermione had gotten him for his birthday last year. It reminded Sirius that his thirteenth birthday was coming up soon, and he still had to order a broom for his present.

Sirius was interrupted in warming his plate of pancakes up in the Muggle microwave by the shrill screech of Remus's ancient owl and a dull thud as it landed on the table.

"God, that beast is obnoxious," Sirius eyed the large bird's twitching body with distaste as it made pathetic, high pitched cooing sounds.

"He's old," Remus admonished him, entering the kitchen at hearing the bird's cries. He carefully adjusted the animal so it was in a more comfortable position and untied the letter from its foot. The owl cooed softly and nipped Remus's fingers affectionately. Sirius glared at it. When it nipped at his fingers, it wasn't gentle; that thing was out for blood.

Remus scooped up his lump of an owl and carried him to the nook by the back door where he'd made the thing a bed of ragged blankets by the window. "Take a rest, Caliban."

He returned to the kitchen and slit the letter open with his finger, unfolding it in the same motion.

"Who's it from?" Harry asked curiously. Sirius took his warm plate and reclaimed his seat at the table.

"Romulus," Remus replied, his eyes scanning the page quickly. A small line of worry appeared between his eyebrows. "He needs a place to stay. He's getting a divorce."

"He wants to stay here?" Sirius almost spit his pancakes out over the table. "What the hell, Remus?"

"Who is he?" Harry asked, perking up with interest.

"My brother," Remus replied distractedly, staring down at the letter as if he could change the words by looking at them long enough. "Sirius, please."

"Don't 'Sirius' me," Sirius growled. "After thirteen years he sends you a letter out of the blue asking to move in? That's ridiculous."

"He's my brother," Remus's eyes shifted to Sirius and his gaze was steady and determined. "What do you expect me to do? Turn him out?"

"Maybe some of his Death Eater friends can take him in," Sirius snapped, instantly regretting it when he saw the flash of anger in Remus's eyes.

"He's a Death Eater?" Harry asked, eyes going from Sirius to Remus as they went back and forth.

Remus didn't look away from Sirius. "It was never proven."

"There are other reasons I don't want him around you," Sirius said lowly. "Or Harry."

Remus blinked and looked away, crossing his arms over his chest defensively. "That was a long time ago."

"Exactly," Sirius raise his eyebrows. "So he's had plenty of time to apologize."

"I don't want him here any more than you do, Sirius," Remus said, rubbing his temples. "But he's my brother. And he's already on his way. I can't let him come all the way here and then tell him to leave."

"I can," Sirius growled.

Remus sighed and looked away, out the window that faced the woods outside the small cottage. His fingers threaded through his thick tawny hair and tugged at the wavy strands. "Just…" his gaze travelled back to Sirius and his expression was solemn, his hazel eyes imploring for Sirius to just stop arguing. "Please. Only a few days. For me."

Sirius's resolve crumbled a little bit. Remus didn't use that line often, and Sirius didn't fall for it when he did. However, he recognized the desperate plea behind it and nodded slowly, reluctantly allowing the matter to drop. For a little while, at least.

"Thanks," Remus stood up and disappeared into the hallway. Harry and Sirius heard him in the study, moving the books off the shelves in the small room so he could dust. Sirius relaxed a little but when he heard it. Cleaning was a coping mechanism for Remus, he'd figured out over their years together. Definitely one of the preferable ones Sirius had witnessed in his years of knowing the man. Remus had some very well hidden self-destructive tendencies. Dusting was a harmless relief.

"What did his brother do?" Harry spoke up after a moment.

Sirius looked up and met the bright green eyes of his godson. The innocent curiosity in those eyes that were so much like Lily's caused a jab of pain in his gut, and he swallowed hard. Harry was almost a teenager now. He wasn't a little kid anymore. As much as Sirius wished he could protect the kid from anything bad, it was stupid and unrealistic of him to try. He just couldn't get the image of a year old Harry wrapped in Remus's arms as he slept out of his head. He could remember the exact moment when the fierce protectiveness for the boy had set in (the first time he'd held him), and he wasn't quite ready to let him go yet. Maybe he never would be, even when it happened and Harry left to start his own family.

"Sirius?" Harry said his name and Sirius snapped out of his thoughts, blinking hard a few times.

"Sorry, Harry, what?" he asked, trying to focus on what Harry was saying.

"What did his brother do?" Harry asked again, repeating the words more slowly. "Was he really a Death Eater?"

Sirius pursed his lips and thought for a moment. "I…I don't know. If you want to know the whole story, ask Remus. I have no right to tell it. I don't even know it all, honestly."

"He's obviously upset," Harry pointed out, glancing towards the study.

Sirius listened for a moment to the sound of objects being shuffled around in the other room. "Just give him some time. He'll be alright."

Sirius hoped he was right.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I promise I'll be better about posting. Life just went a little crazy. As an apology, I'm going to post a couple chapters at once.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: slash, child abuse, hints at sexual abuse of a father to a son (again, nothing explicit), and some language
> 
> Thanks for reading!

                _Remus cringed back against the wall as the sound of a vase smashing on the wooden floor broke through the stale, silent air of the small house._

_“REMUS!” a deep voice bellowed through the hallways, and Remus could have sworn the noise made the whole house shake, the same way it made his thin body shake._

_He cowered closer to the wall, pushing himself into the corner in a desperate attempt to make himself smaller in the vain hope that his father won’t find him._

_He suddenly felt hands dig into the front of his shirt and yank him out of the corner. He flinched, instinctively covering his face with his hands and trying to pull away._

_He was surprised when instead of hitting him, the hands pulled him close and he found himself pressed protectively against someone’s chest. He breathed in and immediately recognized the scent of cigarettes and cheap soap that he associated with his older brother._

_“C’mon, Remus,” Romulus muttered, his mouth close to Remus’s ear so their father wouldn’t hear him. “Get to the basement. Lock the door.”_

_“What about you?” Remus gripped Romulus tightly as his brother half dragged him towards the kitchen where the door to the basement was swung halfway open._

_“I’ll be fine,” Romulus smiled reassuringly, but Remus didn’t buy his brother’s comforting words the way he used to when he was younger. He saw the fear behind Romulus’s bravado, and he knew that his brother wouldn’t be fine if he was left out here with their angry father. He still had a nasty bruise on his cheek and a scab on his lip where it had been split open by John Lupin’s wedding ring last week. He knew Romulus wanted to protect him, but the reality was that his brother was returning to Hogwarts at the end of winter holidays that Saturday, and Remus would be on his own again until summer holidays. “Now, go, Remus!”_

_He shoved Remus towards the door, and Remus gripped the brass knob to stay upright. He turned to try to talk to his brother, to convince him to come with him where they could be locked safely in the basement together, where their dad couldn’t get them and Remus wouldn’t have to cower against the door and listen to his brother try to suppress cries of pain as his body was thrown around the room by their furious father._

_“I don’t think so,” a voice growled in Remus’s ear and a rough hand was wrapped around his collar, yanking him away from the door and sending him into the corner of the kitchen table. His stomach caught the worst of the blow, and it wouldn’t have been as painful as it was if he hadn’t broken four of his ribs during the Moon four days ago. He felt them shift inside him at the impact and his small, ten year old body dropped to the floor in a heap as he wrapped his arms around his middle and curled up in pain. His breath came in short, jagged gasps and he prayed that blow hadn’t shifted his ribs to jab at any important internal organs._

_“God, Remus…” Romulus watched his brother try to get his breath back with a feeling of crippling guilt that twisted his stomach. Remus’s chest was heaving and he was hunched over so his thick hair obscured his face from Romulus’s view. Romulus moved between the smaller boy and John. “Leave him alone, Dad. He’s hurt.”_

_“Oh, he’s hurt,” John repeated mockingly, rolling his eyes and shoving Romulus’s chest roughly. Romulus stumbled back a step, but regained his footing and pushed Remus further behind him. He could feel Remus’s slim fingers curl around his belt. Remus’s breathing wasn’t as labored as it had been, and he seemed to have more control over his intake of air, Romulus noted to his relief. John sneered at them, his dark eyes glinting with disgust. “I’m not having any pity for the little freak; he brought it on himself when he was turned into this monster.”_

_Remus flinched imperceptibly at the harsh words and dropped his gaze to the floor._

_“You’re not a monster,” Romulus said softly, not looking at Remus, keeping his eyes firmly on their dad, and squeezed Remus’s hand tightly. He took a deep breath. “Did you need us for something, Dad?” He prayed for their dad to just get this over with and not drag it out any longer than necessary._

_“I got a phone call today,” John began casually after a few moments of silence. His gaze shifted to his younger son. “And I wasn’t very happy about what the person who called had to say to me.”_

_Remus shuffled uncomfortably and tried to recall what he’d done that could have warranted a phone call that had upset his father. He came up with nothing._

_“Seems your History teacher is rather concerned with some of your bruises, Remus,” Dad growled, stalking towards his sons. Romulus’s eyes widened and he tried to move himself and Remus out of the way, but their father managed to get a grip on him before he could escape. He easily shoved the teenager out of his way, sending him sprawling to the floor, and grabbed the front of Remus’s shirt, yanking the younger boy closer to him. “What did you tell him?”_

_“Nothing, I didn’t tell anyone anything,” Remus choked, struggling in his father’s grip as his ribs were jostled painfully. He looked over at his brother, who was watching with wide eyes from his spot on the floor._

_He returned his gaze to his father’s red face. “I don’t know why he would say that, I didn’t tell, I didn’t…”_

_He couldn’t say he hadn’t been tempted to tell his kind, concerned teacher that his dad hurt him sometimes. There were some days where the words clawed up his throat, vying to slip off his tongue, and physically choked him, but he never let them escape his lips._

_“When would he have seen them?” John demanded angrily. “What, Remus, are you taking your clothes off for him? Is that how you’re passing that class, you stupid, worthless slut? You’re just like your mother…”_

_Remus swallowed hard and tried to slide out of John’s grip. “No, Dad, I’m not, I’m not…I haven’t told anyone, I haven’t…”_

_“You’d better not have,” their dad snarled, slamming Remus back into the side of the counter. Remus gasped and instinctively tried to curl up to relieve the pain in his body, but his father’s unrelenting grip wouldn’t let him. His dad’s knee made its way between his legs and effectively pinned him to the counter. “Do you know what would happen if you did?”_

_“Yes,” Remus nodded fervently; he knew. His father had told him and Romulus many times what would happen in anyone found out about him being a werewolf or how either of them got their bruises._

_“What would happen?” John demanded, pulling Remus closer and shoving him back against the counter roughly._

_Remus gritted his teeth and gasped out the words, speaking fast as he rode out the new wave of pain. “We would get taken away and Romulus would get put in a foster home with people who would hurt him and I would get locked up in a lab and experimented on and probably killed and it would be all my fault because I deserve this.”_

_“That’s right,” John’s expression suddenly softened and one of his hands went to tenderly stroke Remus’s cheek. Remus turned his face away and closed his eyes, trying to block out the feel of his father’s hand on his skin. “Good boy. I don’t like hurting you. I really don’t. You believe me, don’t you?” Remus nodded stiffly desperate to get away from the hand touching his face so softly. It burned his skin as much as a vicious slap would. “You just need to be taught. You need to learn right from wrong. You’re so, so wrong, Remus. I just want to help fix you. I can’t do that if you get taken away, can I?” Remus shook his head, squirming uncomfortably. John shoved his knee a little higher and Remus pushed himself up against the counter to move away from it._

_John went on speaking quietly into Remus’s ear, his whiskey scented breath ghosting over Remus’s pale skin. “Your mother would want you to be right. Your mother would be so disappointed if you wouldn’t let me help you.”_

_He considered Remus for a moment, taking in the boy’s rigid posture and obvious discomfort and pain. He gripped Remus’s chin in his fingers and forced his son to look him in the eyes. “I love you.”_

_Remus blinked and tried to look away, small, unconscious keening sounds forming on the back of his throat._

_John slapped him, hard, and regained his grip on Remus’s chin. “I said, I love you.”_

_“I love you, too,” Remus choked out, the words making him physically sick. His cheek was red where his father’s hand had made contact. His stomach contracted and his eyes stung. He’d expected a beating. He could take a beating. His dad’s mind games and sickeningly intimate words and touches were what really tore at his carefully maintained self-control._

_John smiled at Remus, a twisted, rarely used expression that looked more like a facial twitch. His fingers carded through Remus’s wavy gold hair. “I know.”_

               “Remus!”

               Remus shot up in bed, knocking his head into something hard and flailing out for his wand instinctively. He felt gentle hands on his wrist and chest and realized that he wasn’t, if fact, a ten year old boy in his childhood home, but a grown man in bed with his partner in their small cottage in the woods. He flopped back on the sheets and rubbed his eyes, trying to shake off the cobwebs of the nightmare that seemed to cling to his skin.

               “Are you alright?” Sirius leaned over him and watched him with concern. He rubbed his forehead where Remus’s head had slammed into his when he’d woken up, and winced.

               Remus mumbled something incomprehensible and threw his arm over his eyes. His chest was still rising and falling too quickly for him to actually be calm. Sirius reached over and rubbed his stomach soothingly with one hand. He brought his other hand up to cup Remus’s cheek.

               Remus’s arm dropped from his eyes and the look in his tortured hazel eyes made Sirius’s stomach go cold. He brushed his thumb over Remus’s cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear. Sirius could feel Remus’s eyes studying his face carefully, memorizing his features like he was afraid Sirius would disappear.

               Sirius finally spoke up softly after a few moments. “Are you alright, babe?”

               Remus took a deep breath and nodded, his eyes tearing away from Sirius’s face to stare at the ceiling. “Yeah…” his voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat. “Yes. I…just a…a nightmare.”

               Sirius pursed his lips into a bitter smile and reached over to wrap his arms around Remus. He pulled the man’s slim body closer to his and Remus curled up against his side. Remus pillowed his head on the crook of Sirius’s shoulder and nuzzled his nose against Sirius’s shirt.

               Sirius stroked Remus’s back soothingly and kissed Remus’s temple. “Was it about your brother?”

               “No,” Remus pressed his face into Sirius’s shoulder further and sniffled. “I…Yes…Sort of. Mostly…mostly my dad.”

               Sirius’s expression darkened at Remus’s admission and he curled his arm around the man more tightly. Sirius hated Remus’s father as much as he hated his own family, if not more (which was saying a lot, considering the amount of latent anger he’d harbored for the Blacks for years). Remus had always come back to school from summer and breaks with bruises on his body that he shrugged off as wounds from the full moon, but Sirius never bought it. Werewolves didn’t leave bruises shaped like fingers.

               “I swear to God I’ll never let him touch you again,” Sirius vowed lowly, his lips brushing Remus’s soft hair. Remus shivered and Sirius drew the thick blankets tighter around them both. Remus’s body was stiff, but Sirius could feel him slowly relaxing, the way he always did when he came back from a nightmare wrapped in Sirius’s arms.

               “I’m sorry I woke you,” Remus muttered absentmindedly, staring at his own fingers and they curled into Sirius’s shirt. Three of his fingers were crooked from where they’d been broken multiple times by his father.

               Sirius let out a huff of sardonic laughter. “I can’t believe you still feel bad about waking me up. I have my share of nightmares that you wake up for, too.” Remus smiled a little and traced small circles on Sirius’s chest with his finger. “Don’t tell me you’re not worried about him staying here.”

               “Of course I am,” Remus snapped tiredly. “Sirius, I don’t want to talk about it, okay? He’s staying here.”

               “I know,” Sirius backed off at once, feeling the irritation edge into Remus’s body again. “I didn’t mean that. I just…understandably, him writing and coming to visit is bound to bring up some memories.”

               Sirius thought that was the most diplomatic way he could put it when he mostly just wanted to hex Remus’s brother into the next postal code, and he was relieved that Remus took it that way and relaxed again.

               “He’s my brother,” Remus said slowly. “No matter what he did…he’s my brother. It’s not like…it’s not like it was all bad. He read to me when I was little, he tucked me in at night, he bandaged me up after full moon for years…”

               It was odd to hear the last instance after the other ‘normal’ childhood events Remus had listed, but Sirius was all too aware that bandaging wounds had been a normal part of Remus’s childhood.

               “I don’t know…” Remus sighed deeply and rubbed his face. “I don’t know how to feel about it.”

               “You don’t have to know,” Sirius muttered. “Just feel what you want. Don’t shut me out. If you want him to leave, if you get uncomfortable, we can tell him to leave. It’s completely up to you.”

               “Thank you,” Remus rolled over and bent his head over Sirius’s, placing a hand on his chest for support. The ends of his hair brushed Sirius’s cheeks. “I appreciate your support in this. I know you don’t like him, or trust him. It…means a lot that you’ll shut your mouth for once and just go along with it.”

               “Thank you,” Sirius wrinkled his nose and tilted his head. “I think.”

               Remus smiled a little, and Sirius was relieved to see that is was more warm and genuine than it had been. “Just take the compliment, you idiot.”

               Sirius smirked and pulled Remus back down next to him.

               Remus nestled himself against his side again and let out a long breath. “Goodnight.”

               “Night, babe,” Sirius replied softly.

               Remus’s eyes drifted shut, and Sirius was grateful. The poor man hadn’t been sleeping well with the approaching moon, and any sleep he got was precious at this point.

               Sirius stared at the cool silver light of the moon playing across the white ceiling, wishing sleep would come just as easily to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is! I hope you liked it. The story will probably be told with a lot of flashbacks, and focus on the affect Romulus has on the family Remus and Sirius have created, and what he did in the past that has Sirius so up-and-arms about him. Voldemort will feature, as well as some other canon characters. Romulus will show up next chapter, so *fingers crossed* people stay interested even though this was kind of a background chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> Shoot me a review if you have the time! I really appreciate them so much, and they give me something to look froward to when I come home from work!
> 
> Thanks for taking time to read this!


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: physical child abuse, sexual abuse of a parent to a child (nothing really graphic, but there is MINOR groping and some innuendo. The rest is implied), language (a few words people may find offensive, so I thought I'd warn you now), and SLASH
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer (which I keep forgetting): I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters in this story. They belong to J. K. Rowling.

               “Remus, stop pacing,” Sirius entreated, looking up from the table at his ruffled lover. Remus paused in his pacing to send Sirius a harsh glare before he resumed walking a rut in the floor from the living room to the kitchen.

               Sirius sighed and shrugged at Harry, rolling his eyes.

               “He seems nervous,” Harry raised an eyebrow and commented quietly, so Remus wouldn’t hear. Sirius wasn’t too concerned; Remus had been so distracted and lost in thought all morning it would be a miracle if he was listening in on them.

               “He hasn’t seen his brother in a long time,” Sirius replied.

               Sirius could tell Harry wanted to know more about Romulus. Last night, Remus had sat down across from Harry on the couch and explained softly that he and his brother had had a falling out years ago and didn’t talk anymore. He’d shifted uncomfortably when Harry asked what they had fought over.

               “It’s complicated,” Remus had muttered, running his hands through his hair and tugging the dark golden strands with his thin fingers. “We had a…an unconventional childhood, and it…it made it hard for us to have a relationship when we were older.”

               Sirius had seen the next question on Harry’s lips before he asked it and cringed a little bit from where he was leaning in the doorway. “What do you mean, unconventional?”

               Remus’s expression shifted ever so slightly to conceal the emotions Sirius knew he was feeling and looked down at his hands. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he answered Harry quietly, “After my mother died, my father…he was devastated.” He smiled bitterly, the edges of his mouth hard. “He started drinking, and he was…he was a violent drunk.”

               “He hit you?” Harry blurted out, stunned. Remus flinched at the words, not as badly as he used to, but enough so Sirius noticed the sudden jarring of his body. Harry saw it and covered his mouth with his hands, inwardly berating himself for asking so abruptly. “I’m sorry, oh, God, Remus, I didn’t mean to just ask that, I just never thought…”

               Remus smiled reassuringly and shook his head. “It’s not like I just bring it up casually, Harry. You don’t have to feel bad.” He put an arm around Harry’s shoulders and pulled the young boy against his side. Harry pushed his arm between Remus and the back of the couch to hug him around the waist. He rested his head on Remus’s shoulder and Remus absentmindedly stroked his wild hair.

               “You don’t…I mean, I always wondered why you never talked about your family,” Harry’s voice was hushed and hesitant. “I just thought…”

               “Yeah,” Remus drew his bottom lip under his teeth. “I know.”

               Sirius blinked, brought back to the present by a series of sharp raps on the door. Remus jumped, bumping into the small table in the hallway. He managed to catch the toppling vase before he skittered to the doorway. He stood in front of the door for a few moments to collect himself, wringing his hands together and taking deep breaths.

               Sirius stood up and sauntered down the hallway towards the front door, leaving Harry at the kitchen table, the boy’s eyes flickering from the closed door to his adoptive parents.

               Sirius put an arm around Remus’s waist and pulled the slim man back against his chest. Remus’s hand went to cover Sirius’s hand in his hip automatically and he twined his fingers through the bigger man’s. Sirius squeezed his fingers reassuringly and reached out with his free hand to open the door.

               Harry hadn’t been sure what to expect, but he knew, at least, that it wasn’t the six foot seven, broad shouldered man who stood on the front stoop. He had the same dusty golden hair as Remus, though his was shaved close to his head, and he beamed at the two men in the doorway, his smile bright and open. Harry had seen Remus smile like that a handful of times; when Harry had brought home a picture of his family from school (a little stick figure Harry was between Remus and Sirius, holding their hands, with two figures labeled “Mommy” and “Daddy” up in the clouds next to the sun); when Sirius had tried to bake a cake for Harry’s fifth birthday and the kitchen looked like the pantry had exploded all over it (Sirius had always been horrible at cleaning spells and he’d had been terrified of how Remus would react when he got home. Remus had come home from Diagon Alley, laden with bags of gifts for Harry, stared at the mess for a few moments, and broken out into laughter, kissing Sirius’s cheek and pulling a premade cake out of one of his bags); when Sirius had taught Harry how to fly and Remus had stood off to the side, leaning against a tree and watching them.

               “Remus,” the man said, his voice surprisingly quiet and soft for someone twice the size of a normal human being. “God…wow.”

               He stepped forward and pulled the surprised man into his arms. Sirius kept a grip on the back of Remus’s shirt as he was pulled out of his arms and into his brother’s. Remus tensed at first, but relaxed enough to awkwardly slide his arms around his brother’s waist loosely.

               Romulus held Remus at arm’s length and looked him over, smiling widely. “God, Remus, you look…you look great, you look really good.”

               Remus smiled uncomfortably and tried to subtly wiggle out of Romulus’s tight grasp. “Thanks. You…you, too.” He successfully shook off Romulus’s hands and stepped away, putting some space between them. Sirius reasserted his grip on Remus, wrapping his arm around his waist again and glaring warningly at Romulus.

               There was a lull where Romulus was just looking at Remus, not speaking, his eyes flickering over his baby brother evaluatingly. He hadn’t seen Remus since he was twenty, during the war. Remus looked a lot healthier, though he was as thin as he’d ever been and there were shadows under his eyes; hazards of being a werewolf, Romulus had learned over the years. There were a few new scars on his exposed forearms and peeking above the collar of his shirt. His hair fell in thick golden locks, curling at the ends, and Romulus recalled how many times he’d held the man standing in front of him when they were kids and run his hands through the distraught boy’s soft hair, wiping away his tears and trying to calm him as they listened to their father throw himself at the basement door and scream for them to get out there and take what they deserved.

               Remus stepped aside, clearing his throat. “Come in. I…I’ll show you where you can stay, we don’t really have a lot of space. I hope you don’t mind, the extra room is kind of small. It was supposed to be an office, but I haven’t had the time to actually organize it. I just transfigured the desk into a bed, if it’s not comfortable, you can do what you want to it, I just thought, you know, for spacing…”          

               “You’re rambling, love,” Sirius muttered against Remus’s temple and pressed his lips to the pale skin. “It’s alright, he’ll be fine.”

               Romulus’s lip automatically curled at the endearment and the sight of Sirius’s lips against the side of his brother’s head. He realized what he was doing and schooled his face quickly into a neutral expression. He wasn’t going to screw this up. “He’s right, Rem, I’ll be fine.”

               Sirius felt Remus’s body tense at the nickname. He knew Remus hated begin called that, or any variation of it. His brother was the only one who had ever been allowed to, and that privilege was taken away the second he left Remus at home alone with their abusive father.       

               “Don’t call me that,” Remus said firmly, pulling away from Sirius and turning to walk to the kitchen. “I suppose you should meet Harry, if you’ll be here for a while.”

               Romulus blinked at Remus’s retreating back, stunned by the sharp reprimand, but followed him into the kitchen without a word.

               Harry stood up when they came into the room and put a smile on his face. Remus’s brother held out his hand and Harry took it.

               “Good to meet you, Harry,” Romulus shook the boy’s hand.

               “You, too,” Harry shifted his weight uncomfortably under the bigger man’s gaze. He felt like Romulus was studying him, trying to see what he was thinking…his gaze felt like it was penetrating Harry’s skull and looking into his mind. He met the man’s gaze for a few moments, noting the difference between Romulus’s eyes and Remus’s; Romulus’s were a dark, deep blue in contrast to Remus’s light, flecked hazel.

               “Remus has always been so proud of you,” Romulus went on, letting go of Harry’s hand after a moment longer than was normal. “You should have heard the way he went on about you when you first started walking. You said his name first, his nickname, anyway. Moony. It was your first word.”

               “How do you know that?” Sirius demanded, crossing his arms and leaning on the kitchen wall. “It’s not like you were around much for him.”

               Harry had the distinct feeling that they weren’t talking entirely about him, and slid back into his chair quietly. He felt a hand on his shoulder a moment later and glanced at Remus, who smiled reassuringly and rolled his eyes. Harry cracked a small smile.

               “I went to Order meetings,” Romulus pointed out defensively. “Even if we didn’t have heart to heart chats about our lives, I paid attention, I listened to him talk to other people there. It wasn’t hard to figure out that he loved this kid, even before you two adopted him.”

               “He has a name,” Remus said sharply, his hand tightening on Harry’s shoulder.

               Romulus’s eyes narrowed inquisitively as he considered his younger brother silently.

               Sirius cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the sudden silence and spoke, “I’ll show you your room, Romulus. Remus, why don’t you go check on the fish? I forgot to feed them this morning.”

               “We don’t have any—,” Remus’s fingers dug sharply into his shoulder and Harry yelped, turning to give him a look of betrayed confusion.

               “I think I will,” Remus replied innocently. “Join me, Harry?”

               Harry nodded and stood up, rubbing his shoulder.

               “Do you mind if I take a look around the grounds?” Romulus asked. “It looks lovely outside, and I have a meeting with my lawyer tomorrow, so I’d like to make use of my free time today. Gorgeous garden out there, Remus.”

               “Sirius takes care of it,” Remus replied. “I’ve never had a green thumb. You know that.”

               “I do recall the dead cactus I got you that stayed in our window for seven years because you refused to get rid of it,” Romulus grinned. “It’s probably still there.”

               “It’s not,” Remus said shortly. “I threw it out when I turned fourteen.”

               Romulus pursed his lips and rubbed his forehead tiredly.

 

               _“Rom?” Remus peered into their small bedroom. He could hear his brother moving around; the sound of drawers sliding open, hangers scraping against the wooden rod in the closet as he pushed clothes aside. “What are you doing?”_

_“Remus,” Romulus straightened up where he stood at his bedside, a shirt clutched in his hands and dangling over an open suitcase. “I thought you were asleep on the couch.”_

_“I woke up,” Remus watched Romulus suspiciously. Romulus shifted uncomfortably under his brother’s scrutiny. “What are you doing?”_

_“I’m just cleaning…” Romulus lied weakly. “Going through some stuff…”_

_“You’re packing,” Remus corrected him abruptly. “Where are you going?”_

_“I…Rem, sit down,” Romulus sighed and motioned to the bed. “C’mon.”_

_“I’d rather stand, thank you,” Remus said stiffly, crossing his arms over his chest. “Where are you going?”_

_Romulus ran his hands through his hair and let out a long breath, trying to find the words to explain himself. “I…I’m staying with a friend for a little while this summer.”_

_“We’ve only been home a week,” Remus pointed out, stepping further into the room and pulling the door shut so their father couldn’t hear. The man had passed out about an hour ago and Remus hadn’t heard from him since, but who knew when he would wake up again._

_“A week too long,” Romulus said under his breath, thinking back to a few hours ago._

**_Remus had tripped over the hall rug and knocked over a picture frame; he was tired and the approaching full moon dulled his reflexes and awareness. It smashed to the floor into large shards. Remus had moved to pick them up before their father could see, praying desperately that the picture hadn’t been wrecked (it was of their mother), and been roughly shoved to his knees by an aggressive hand on his back._ **

**_John had heard the glass break on the wood floor and pushed his youngest roughly to the floor. Remus caught himself with his hands, but, unfortunately, fell right onto the shards of glass. A few pieces sliced into his hands and wrists, drawing blood that sluggishly ran down his pale skin._ **

**_“Pick it up,” John snarled. “For God’s sake, Remus, do you break everything you touch? I swear to God, if that picture is torn, you’ll regret being born.”_ **

**_Remus swallowed hard, pushing down the useless thought that he already did. He didn’t have the time or the energy to indulge in self-pity right then. He gingerly plucked the photo from the broken frame, careful to avoid the glass that would slice his hands up even more. The photo wasn’t irrevocably damaged, just slightly bent._ **

**_John snatched the photo out of Remus’s shaking hands and looked it over, carefully bending it back so it was flat again. A small crease remained across the woman’s face, slicing through her golden hair and one of her light hazel eyes. She smiled at them warmly and John felt something in his chest stir. He glanced over at Remus, who had pushed himself to his feet and was standing there quietly, as if he thought that if he didn’t move, John couldn’t see him._ **

**_John flicked the photo aside so it drifted to rest on the small table and turned his attention to Remus, who flinched when he felt his father’s gaze on him. He shrank back against the wall, trying in vain to make himself smaller._ **

**_That made John grin, in an uncomfortably predatory way. Remus had grown in the year he’d been gone at school; he was fourteen, that day was his birthday. He was slim, like his mother had been, but there was something undeniably male in his lightly muscled, lithe frame; John didn’t mind, truth be told. He loved his wife (who Remus was practically a carbon copy of), but he also wasn’t opposed to the flat planes of a man’s body._ **

**_He took a few steps forward, effectively pinning Remus to the wall._ **

**_Remus tried to push him away, to get some space between them. “Dad, please…”_ **

**_“You look just like her,” John murmured, stroking Remus’s soft hair with his rough hands, running his thumb over Remus’s cheekbone. “You got her eyes.”_ **

**_“Dad…” Remus muttered, pushing himself back against the wall in an effort to move away, though he knew it was useless; trying to escape hadn’t worked for ten years, why would it now?_ **

**_“You act like you don’t want this, Remus,” John’s voice was right in his ear, his breath ghosting across Remus’s skin hotly. He didn’t smell like alcohol, and that made it worse. At least when his father was drunk, Remus could blame it on the whiskey. “But be serious. You like it, don’t you? You respond…favorably.” His hands drifted lower, curling around the waistband of Remus’s jeans. Remus’s breath hitched as the insistent fingers tugged them lower on his hips. “You take it and squirm under me like a good little slut. Why do you think I chose you, and not your brother, huh?” Remus tensed as the hands probed lower and he was pressed more firmly into the wall. He tried unsuccessfully to block out his father’s words. “I can see it in you, babe. I could always tell that you’d be the one who would spread his legs like a good little slut, because you want it so goddamned bad from a man.” Remus whimpered and turned his face away, closing his eyes tightly, like that could stop the words from ripping into his heart. “I’m just giving you what you want, sweetheart.” Remus felt one of his father’s hands move upward to grip his chin tightly and force Remus to look at him. “Open your eyes.” Remus complied reluctantly, figuring it was a small thing; he would pick his battles. John smiled at him softly and touched his face. “You’re so beautiful, Remus.”_ **

**_He sealed his lips over Remus’s, and Remus let his eyes fall shut again as he tried to hold back tears._ **

**** _Romulus had heard the crash and decided to wait it out. He’d taken a lot for Remus. He’d tried to protect him, and he couldn’t, and it was killing him. He had been offered a place to stay for the summer, with one of his best friends from school, and he’d decided at the last minute to go. Remus was fourteen now; it was time he took care of himself. Romulus had paid his dues to this family._

_Now, looking at his younger brother, Romulus felt a twinge of guilt. Remus’s hands were bandaged and he was shifting uncomfortably as he stood; Romulus didn’t want to think about why._

_“When will you be back?” Remus asked, pulling Romulus’s attention back to the present. Romulus regarded his younger brother; Remus was filling out, strong in an understated way; he had serious eyes, flecked with gold, that made him look older than he was (he’d certainly been through more than the average fourteen year old); and he wore a loose sweater that he tugged at the threadbare sleeves of and jeans that had once been Romulus’s, but now fit the younger boy quite nicely. He wasn’t a kid any more._

_“I can’t do this anymore, Remus,” Romulus admitted softly. He moved closer to his brother to clasp his biceps tightly. “You have to understand. This is killing me. I can’t protect you. I have to get out, I have to leave.”_

_“You think leaving will help?” Remus demanded angrily. “He’ll be furious when he finds out.”_

_“I’ve made up my mind,” Romulus said firmly. “I’m almost seventeen. By the time he tries to make me come home, I’ll be of age.”_

_“You’re leaving me here alone?” Remus asked, his voice suddenly small and scared. He chewed on his thumbnail, his wide desperate eyes watching Romulus pack. “I…Romulus, please, please, don’t go, you can’t. Or take me with you. Please…”_

_“I can’t,” Romulus replied, bracing himself with his arms over his suitcase and taking a deep breath. “He can get you back, you’re too young. You’d get hurt; the Ministry isn’t really werewolf friendly, you know that. They wouldn’t be nice about dragging you back here.”_

_Remus watched his brother wordlessly as he zipped his suitcase, all of his belongings neatly packed inside. Remus’s feathery hair fell in thick locks in front of his eyes, hiding them from view. Romulus was glad; he didn’t think he could have handled seeing the look of betrayal in them._

_He lifted the case and set it on the floor. He reached out to hug Remus. Remus flinched at the touch. “C’mon, Rem. Please.”_

_Romulus pulled Remus into his arms, holding his little brother tightly to him. He didn’t want to let go ever; but he had to. He couldn’t do any of this anymore. He buried his face in Remus’s thick hair and pressed a kiss to the teenager’s head. “I love you.”_

_Remus’s fingers curled into the front of Romulus’s shirt and when Remus spoke, Romulus could feel his brother’s breath on his shoulder through the thin fabric. “He’ll kill me.”_

_“You’re so much stronger than him,” Romulus muttered, squeezing his slim body more tightly before letting him go. He gently untangled Remus’s fingers from his shirt and leaned down to pick up his case. “I’ve got to go. I’m meeting Mike in town in ten minutes for a ride.”_

_Remus didn’t reply, but swallowed hard. His throat hurt and ached; so did his chest, worse than the rest of his battered body._

_Romulus gave Remus a sad, regretful smile. He reached to press a small box into Remus’s hand. “Happy Birthday.”_

_And then he was gone._

_Remus didn’t watch him walk away. He plopped down on the floor, let out a small cry of pain, and tore the newspaper off the box Romulus had given him. He ripped off the lid, tears streaming down his face, barely able to get his hands steady enough to open the box; he didn’t want to think about how Romulus was walking away, about how he could still run out there and beg him not to go._

_A glint of gold caught Remus’s eye when he opened the lid. He dug through the tissue paper and pulled out a long gold chain. A ring was strung on it; the ring was gold, made up of thin strands of gold woven in an intricate design, and had a small red stone set in it. A scrap of paper fluttered to the ground when the tissue paper was disturbed. Remus picked it up and made out the words through the blurriness in his eyes._

_REMUS,_

_THIS WAS MUM’S WEDDING RING. SHE LEFT IT TO ME WHEN SHE DIED TO GIVE TO MY WIFE SOMEDAY. I FIGURE YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO NOW, TO REMEMBER THAT DAD WASN’T ALWAYS BAD. SHE LOVED HIM ONCE. SHE LOVED YOU, TOO, AND I LOVE YOU. REMMEBER THAT WHEN YOU LOOK AT THIS. I HOPE IT GIVES YOU STRENGTH._

_ROM_

_Remus’s fingers closed around the note, crumpling it into a tiny ball, and he clutched the ring in his hand as he curled up and buried his face in his arms, letting the tears soak through the thick wool of his sweater._

Remus remember that when he’d stopped crying, he’d felt angrier than he’d ever felt in his life, and he’d pitched the small, pathetic plant out the window and watched the pot shatter against the concrete driveway. He’d gotten smacked for that later, but it was worth it.

               Romulus turned back to Harry. “Your parents are buried on the property?”              

               “Yeah,” Harry replied, eyebrows drawing together. “Why?”

               “I’d heard it through the grapevine,” Romulus shrugged, apparently unconcerned. “I just wondered…”

               “Yeah, well, I’ll show you your room, now,” Sirius cut in. “C’mon, it’s down this way.”

               He disappeared down the hallway. Romulus glanced at Remus and followed.

               Remus and Harry made their way upstairs, not speaking. Remus perched on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the opposite wall. Harry climbed onto the mattress and scooted closer to Remus.

               “He’s only here for a little while, right?” Harry said. It was half a question, half a reassurance.

               Remus blinked, his eyes clearing, and nodded. “Yes. Not long.” He was silent a few moments before he added softly. “He’s never really been one to stay anywhere very long.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Please review if you have a second! I appreciate them so much, and I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: child abuse (physical and sexual, though I think it's mostly just implied in this chapter), mild torture (implied), language, and SLASH

               When Harry woke up the next morning, he found himself curled up between Remus and Sirius, buried under the thick blankets on their bed. Sirius shifted in his sleep slightly when he felt Harry move. His fingers tightened around Remus’s hand where they were twined together over Harry’s thin body. Harry yawned and rolled onto his back so he could look up at the ceiling, feeling safe and protected with the comforting weight of his adoptive parents’ arms draped over him.

               “Morning, sweetheart,” Remus said softly.

               Harry started, surprised at the voice in his ear, and turned to face Remus. “Morning.”

               One corner of Remus’s mouth twitched into a smile, but Harry could still see the purple circles under his tired eyes.

               Harry stretched and rolled his shoulders, cracking his back. “Remember I’m going to see Ron at ten.”

               “I remember,” Remus said, shifting to lie on his back and letting go of Sirius’s hand. Sirius whined in his sleep at the loss of contact, but didn’t wake up; he just rolled over and slept on. “Sirius and I were planning on going into Diagon Alley today to get your birthday presents.”

               “Don’t go overboard,” Harry said, equal parts wishing they wouldn’t and wishing they would. They weren’t the poorest they’d ever been, though they were by no means rich, and Harry sort of hoped that Sirius had convinced Remus to get him a broom this year, since they could afford it. Remus had found a job at a Muggle shop where they didn’t miss him a few days a month and Sirius had been steadily employed as an Auror since the war ended. However, something bad always seemed to happen just when it seemed like things were under control, and Harry knew Remus was concerned about saving as much as they could for the times when he was between jobs. In the periods where Remus had been unemployed because of the difficulty of finding a job as a werewolf, Sirius’s paycheck covered the rent and food, but not much else.

               “Overboard?” Remus raised his eyebrows innocently. His hair was a ruffled mess and he was wearing one of Sirius’s t-shirts that draped off one shoulder and flannel pajama bottoms and Harry was suddenly struck by how young he was, how young Sirius was, too, and how much they’d taken on before they had even turned twenty three. “I will do no such thing. Your godfather, however, is an expert at going overboard when he goes gift shopping, and sometimes it’s better for me to just let him have his fun.”

               “I heard that, Remus,” Sirius mumbled into the pillow. “Don’t act like you’re above spoiling him, because you’ve been the one to indulge him in whatever he’s wanted since the day he was born.”

               “You make me sound like a brat,” Harry whined good-naturedly, hitting the back of Sirius’s head lightly. “He’s not that bad.”

               “My, God, Harry, you have no idea,” Sirius rolled over so he could prop himself up against the headboard and look at the dark haired boy, smiling teasingly. “He literally couldn’t stand to let you cry when you were a baby. Lily always told him to let you cry yourself out, so you’d learn to calm yourself down. He couldn’t do it; he’d sneak in and rock you until you fell asleep.”

               “I never agreed with that idea in parenting,” Remus smiled sheepishly. “It’s not like you knew what was going on; you just wanted someone to pick you up and hold you.”

               “It obviously didn’t do too much damage,” Harry rolled his eyes at Sirius, but frowned when he realized Sirius’s gaze was blank and far away.

_“Please, Harry,” Sirius held the baby tightly and hunched over in the uncomfortable hospital chair as Harry wailed as loudly as his little lungs would allow. “Please, stop, stop crying…”_

_Sirius’s voice choked with his own tears and he fought the urge to join Harry and just curl up an cry and scream and yell because Lily and James were dead, oh, God, no, they were dead and Harry didn’t have parents anymore, and Sirius’s best friend and the woman he loved and married and had a child with were gone, declared dead five minutes ago, officially, and they would never see Harry get his Hogwarts letter or fly or graduate or get married…_

_“Sirius!”_

_Sirius’s head jerked up at the familiar voice and he had to admit he was stunned to see a drained, beaten Remus Lupin staggering across the hospital waiting room towards him. Remus was wearing a shirt that was huge on him and stained with blood and dirt and pants he had to keep hitching up. His hair fell into his eyes in thick clumps. He was bruised and bleeding, his bottom lip split open and a dark splotch forming rapidly on his face, but he was somehow still standing and determinedly making his way over to Sirius and Harry._

_“Remus!” Sirius stood up, swayed on his feet, steadied himself, and reached out to push Remus into a chair; he looked ready to pass out. “What happened? I thought you were underground until next week. Are you alright? My God, Remus, are you okay? Do you need to get checked out? Do you--?”_

_“I’m fine, Sirius,” Remus cut him off quickly, yanking Sirius down into the chair next to him. “Sit down, for God’s sake. Are they..? I heard, but…is it true?”_

_Sirius blinked back tears, feeling a lump creeping up his throat and choking him. He nodded and swallowed hard; it hurt. He returned his attention to Harry. “Shhh…Harry…please…please stop…” Harry continued to cry._

_Remus stared at his hands, dazed. Sirius wished desperately that Remus would take the baby; he could always get Harry to quiet down. He knew it wasn’t fair, that Remus had been through just as much hell as he had that night, but he selfishly wanted someone to fix this. “Why are you back?”_

_“My cover was blown,” Remus replied mechanically, his voice blank and face expressionless. “They found out I was part of the Order. I got away before they could…I got away in time.” He paused as a shudder ran through his body. He hoped Sirius didn’t notice. “You found them?”_

_Sirius nodded and Remus met his partner’s gray eyes. He felt a sharp pain in his chest at the sheer amount of anguish and desperation and fear he saw. Sirius didn’t like to show weakness, not even to Remus; he was at the end of his rope, ready to break down._

_Remus realized Harry was crying, something he was usually so tuned in to, but the ringing in his ears had seemed to drown it out. He reached out and took Harry in his shaking hands. Sirius released him and watched as Remus adjusted the baby against him so he could rub soothing circles on Harry’s stomach and Harry’s ear was pressed to his chest._

_Sirius ran a hand through Harry’s unruly hair (don’t think of James, don’t think of James…), relieved when Harry’s cries quieted and he drifted to sleep. “How do you do that?”_

_“Heartbeats tend to calm children down,” Remus replied automatically, bowing his head over Harry so his hair hid his face. His body was shuddering with the after effects of the Cruciatus. His head pounded and his eyes burned. “My brother used to hold me like that when I got upset…” Remus’s voice broke on the word brother and he hunched over further, practically wrapped around Harry like some sort of cocoon._

_“Let’s go home,” Sirius begged quietly, wrapping his arms around Remus’s waist and pressing his face into the werewolf’s shoulder. He felt a tear slip down his cheek. “Please.”_

_Remus had Apparated them home and collapsed. Sirius had frantically torn the shirt open to see what was wrong, and saw how thin Remus had gotten, the mottled mess of bruises his chest had become, the long, jagged tears ripping through his pale, damaged skin, and he’d felt Remus’s taxed body shudder under his hands and jerk spasmodically; he recognized the symptoms from Auror training and from what he’d heard about the Longbottom’s fate._

_“Oh, God, Remus,” he breathed and moved to lightly slap Remus’s face. “Remus, wake up. C’mon. C’mon, babe.”_

_Sirius realized that Harry was still in Remus’s arms, clutched to his chest even while Remus was unconscious. He pried the baby out of Remus’s arms and carried him to the spare room where they had the extra crib set up for when they babysat. Harry didn’t wake, thank God. Small blessings._

_Sirius returned to Remus, who had begun to stir and was coming around. His eyes flickered open and met Sirius’s. Sirius didn’t bother trying to hide the tears running freely down his face._

_Remus reached out and pulled Sirius to him without hesitation. Sirius returned the embrace just as fiercely, pressing his face into Remus’s neck. Remus felt tears drip and curve around his collarbone. Remus himself couldn’t find the energy to cry; he felt strangely detached, and completely drained._

_After a few moments, Sirius sniffled loudly and stood up, pulling Remus with him and supporting him as he guided the smaller man to the bed in their small flat. Remus collapsed on the mattress and curled up into a ball, unable to stand anymore._

_“He’s an orphan,” Sirius said softly, breaking the silence._

_Remus raised his face from his arms and shook his head. He was quiet a moment before replying softly, “No, he’s not.”_

Sirius still remembered that Remus hadn’t slept and had spent the night trying to fight off the vicious shudders of pain wracking his body. Sirius had held him and Remus had clutched Sirius’s shirt tightly as he’d rode out the waves of pain.

               Looking at the man today, Sirius figured no one would see the hell Remus had been through; they would see a quiet, kind, albeit scarred man who genuinely wanted to help people and take care of his family. He didn’t give off the dangerous air of someone who had been pushed to extreme measures in order to survive and who could kill without batting an eye. The thing most people didn’t realize was that Remus was as dangerous when he was himself as he was when he was a werewolf. As mild as he appeared, he was a goddamned good wizard, and Sirius had seen him take down Death Eater like it was nothing, using the Killing Curse with disconcerting ease when it came to protecting the other Order members. Sometimes he was afraid for Remus and the amount of anger and self-destructive tendencies he had, hidden carefully away from everyone else.

               “What are you staring at?” Remus shifted self-consciously.

               Sirius blinked and shook his head, looking away and out the window. It was overcast, and the clouds cast a dark shadow over the grass that made it appear a rich emerald green. “Nothing. You’re seeing Ron today, right, Harry?”

               Harry nodded and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost nine. “I should go shower and get changed. I’ll let you both know before I Floo over there.”

               He climbed over Sirius and out of bed. When he shut the door behind him, Remus slipped out of bed and plodded over to the closet. He selected a red turtleneck with a stretched collar and a pair of dark jeans from the hangers and tossed them onto the bed. “So have you decided which broom he’d like?”

               “Hmmm?” Sirius hummed distractedly, watching Remus peel his t shirt off and toss it aside. His pajamas hung low on his slim hips. Sirius could see the lithe muscles of Remus’s body move fluidly under the pale, scarred skin as he started to pull on a white t shirt to wear under his sweater.

               He paused as he pulled the shirt over his head. “You’re staring again.”

Sirius smiled and leaned forward on his knees to grab the front of Remus’s shirt and pull the smaller man towards him. Sirius pressed a kiss to his parted lips. “How could I not, beautiful?”

Remus smiled against Sirius’s lips and pushed him away lightly. “Stop it, Sirius.”

“I know you still don’t believe me,” Sirius pulled him back against his body as he kneeled on the edge of the bed so his knees bumped Remus’s thighs. “But you are.”

Remus gave Sirius that smile that made Sirius sure the man was just humoring him and didn’t believe him in the slightest. He pursed his lips and twisted them into a small smile. “I wish you could see what I see.”

Remus laughed and shook his head. “I really doubt that.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and tugged Remus down for one more kiss. He looked into the kind hazel eyes inches from his own, taking in the man in front of him; the soft hair curling around his neck, the small smile tugging at his mouth, the feel of the trusting, relaxed slim body pressed against his own, the scars that swirled over his stomach and arms and the many more that were currently hidden under clothing, each of them a testament to the raw strength their owner possessed, the gentle hands in his own dark hair that threaded the strands through slim fingers as they moved across his scalp. “Seriously.”

“Remus?” there was a sharp rap on the door and Romulus’s voice called through the door. “I have no idea where anything is in the house. Can you come into the kitchen?”

“Yeah,” Remus answered. He let out a soft sigh and dropped his forehead to the top of Sirius’s head. Sirius felt Remus’s warm breath ruffle his hair. After a moment, he kissed Sirius’s hair and straightened up. “I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Sirius yawned and nodded, letting go of Remus reluctantly. “I’ll be right there.”

 

 

“Morning, Remus,” Romulus greeted his brother when he finally made his way down to the kitchen. Romulus glanced at his watch. He had to “meet his lawyer” in an hour.

“Good morning,” Remus replied, moving to the cupboards and shifting through the shelves. “What do you want? We have oatmeal. Do you still like oatmeal?”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Romulus nodded, leaning back in his chair.

Remus set about heating up water in a kettle in the stove and nervously rearranged the boxes in one of the cupboards for something to do so he wouldn’t have to turn and face Romulus, his shoulders tense. He wouldn’t look at Romulus, and Romulus had to admit that it hurt.

“How have you been, Remus?” Romulus tried, hating how forced this was. He remembered when they were younger and the boy told him everything; there wasn’t much about Remus’s life that Romulus didn’t know. Now he didn’t even know where Remus worked. “Do you have a job?”

“I work at a Muggle shop downtown,” Remus replied tersely. “I’ve been there for two years now.”

Romulus nodded, taking in the information and storing it away. The kitchen was silent for a few moments, besides the creaking of the warming kettle. “You and Sirius…are you…areyoumarried?”

“What?” Remus turned to face his brother, having not understood the rushed words.

“Are you and him…married?” Romulus repeated more slowly, watching Remus closely for a reaction.

Remus looked away before their gazes could meet and leaned back on the counter, gripping the edges so hard his knuckles turned white. “We can’t. Werewolves don’t get much sympathy, but werewolves who fall in love with someone who’s the same gender as them get even less. The Ministry would never allow it.”

“I’m sorry,” Romulus muttered, eyes trained on Remus’s face.

Remus smiled humorlessly. “We both know you’re not.”

Romulus deserved that, he knew, but it still pained him to know that Remus was right.

 

_The first time he noticed, Romulus had been walking down the stone hallways of the castle to get to Defense Against the Dark Arts, books piled in his arms and talking to Mike as they made their way to class. He paused when he felt people’s eyes on him as he walked by, and he could have sworn one group of girls stopped whispering right as he passed, like they’d been talking about him._

_He brushed it off and continued on to class._

_When the same thing was still happening by dinner that night, he finally broke and snapped, “Why the hell is everyone staring at me?”_

_Mike shifted uncomfortably and shrugged, trying to look innocent and failing miserably._

_“Mike, c’mon,” Romulus sighed. “What is it? How bad can it be?”_

_He regretted it the second he said it. Especially when he heard Mike’s hesitant response. “It…people found out that your brother’s dating Sirius Black.”_

_“What?” Romulus snorted, glancing over at the Gryffindor table. Remus was in his usual place with his three close friends. He and Black weren’t even touching, they were just eating dinner like usual. They were even on opposite sides of the table. “No, he’s not. That’s ridiculous. Remus isn’t…he’s not…” How could he be, after years of continued abuse from their father? How could he let any man touch him like that when it would be so closely linked to the memory his father brutally ripping away his innocence?_

_“Snape caught them snogging out by the Willow,” Mike shrugged. “Poor git’s a bit put out. He always had a thing for your brother.”_

_“What?” Romulus’s voice rose a little in shock. “What are you talking about?”_

_“You should see how Lucius looks at him,” Narcissa Black leaned over, dropping into their conversation, and rolled her eyes. “It’s disgusting.”_

_“Lucius?” Romulus repeated, stunned. He’d slipped up; he used to keep steady tabs on his brother and took notice of the people that seemed interested in him for less than innocent reasons, which was a number too high for Romulus’s liking. Since he’d left home, he had to admit to himself that he hadn’t been watching out for Remus at school as well as he should have. “I never noticed this. How did I not see any of this?”_

_“You didn’t want to,” Narcissa shrugged. “He’s your brother, of course you don’t see him like that. But he’s not bad looking, Romulus. He’s pretty, and Lucius tends to be attracted to pretty things.”_

_Hearing the word ‘pretty’ being associated with Remus made Romulus’s stomach twist. He remembered the way their father had stroked Remus’s hair and called him that, twisting the simple compliment into an insult._

_“That’s probably what Black sees in him,” Romulus jumped a little when he heard Lucius’s voice from behind him. The seventh year moved to perch on the seat next to Romulus and smiled. Romulus suppressed a shudder at the venomous air the grin had to it. Lucius made him want to cringe, but since Romulus was now officially in the Order, Dumbledore had given him clear instruction to try to get into Lucius’s band of suspected Death Eaters. As much as he loathed Lucius, he had to put up with him for the sake of the Order. “Really, Lupin, Black’s slept with half the students in this school. He probably liked the challenge of getting your brother to take him into his bed; Merlin knows I’ve been trying for years. Your brother is going to end up hurt.”_

_Romulus gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists. “I really doubt you care much for his well-being, Malfoy.”_

_“You’re right, I don’t,” Lucius agreed readily, tilting his head and watching Remus from across the room. Romulus wanted to slap him for looking at his baby brother like that. “But I know you do.”_

_It was strange and ominous and made Romulus uncomfortable, but he was still thinking of Lucius’s previous words. He was right, Black was probably going to sleep with Remus and then move on, and Remus didn’t deserve to be used like that with what he’d been through. What he was going through, Romulus reminded himself. Remus was still at home during breaks, ordered there by their father. Romulus didn’t like to think of what happened when his father and Remus were alone together in that house; his chest constricted with the crushing weight of guilt._

_He stood up, anger growing as his mind raced with the thought of Remus being hurt by Black, of him willing to throw away the slim chance at having a semi normal life by shacking up with this guy, of Black leading him on…_

_“Remus,” he snapped, coming to a stop a few feet from the Gryffindor table.  “We need to talk.”_

_Remus stiffened and turned around on the bench to face his older brother. “You and I don’t have anything to talk about.”_

_“I think we do,” Romulus snarked, taking a step towards Remus._

_Remus stood up and crossed his arms. Romulus could see Black on the other side of the table looking uncertain as to whether he should step in or not. “What do you want, Romulus?”_

_“I want to know why the hell you’re sleeping with Black?” I snarled, more harshly than I meant to._

_Remus flinched, but didn’t look away. By now, the surrounding tables had stopped talking to listen, but Romulus and Remus barely noticed. “It’s not any of your business who I’m in a relationship with.”_

_“I’m your brother, or course it is,” Romulus corrected him sharply._

_“You’re not my brother,” Remus said lowly, his hazel eyes darkening. “You made your choice.”_

_“I may not live in that hellhole, but I’m still related to you,” Romulus ignored the sting that barb left in his heart. “And I forbid you to continue on with this ridiculous relationship. He’s using you, Rem.”_

_“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” Remus smiled bitterly. Most of the great Hall was silent by then, everyone enthralled by the argument between the two brothers who rarely spoke about their home lives or each other; even the teachers were listening. “You can’t just walk in and out of my life when you want to. You haven’t even spoken to me in almost a year. Why should I listen to you?”_

_“Because I want what’s best for you,” Romulus said truthfully, taking a step closer. Remus took a skittish step back._

_“Don’t say that,” he commanded softly. “If you wanted what’s best for me, you wouldn’t have left.”_

_“Is that what this is about?” Romulus demanded. “Are you dating him to spite me? To spite Dad?”_

_“You and Dad have nothing to do with this,” Remus growled. “Not everything I do has to be about you.”_

_“Remus, you’re confused,” Romulus said, forcing himself to remain calm. He gripped Remus’s arm firmly. Remus flinched at the touch, but didn’t pull away. “You don’t know what you want. It’s understandable that you don’t see what’s happening. Black’s offering you validation that Dad has never given you.” He pulled Remus closer and added lowly. “Do you know what Black really wants from you?”_

_“You’re wrong,” Remus yanked his arm out of his brother’s grip and took a step back to put more distance between them. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s not the only reason someone would want a relationship with me, Romulus.”_

_“You don’t see it, you’ve never seen it, you’re so fucking innocent for someone who’s been through what you have,” Romulus shook his head and spoke quietly, suddenly acutely aware of everyone listening. “The way people look at you…For God’s sake, Remus, you have no idea how hard I’ve worked to keep people from using you like this.”_

_“He isn’t using me,” Remus repeated firmly, setting his jaw. “Please. Just leave me alone, I don’t need you anymore. That’s what you wanted all along, wasn’t it?”_

_Romulus didn’t know what happened, or what came over him, but one second he saw a flash of white and the next, his hand was stinging and Remus was clutching his cheek where a vibrant red mark in the shape of a palm was forming._

_Remus’s expression didn’t change, and Romulus saw some of the teachers leap up to break apart the argument. “I think Dad’s made it obvious that hitting me won’t change anything.”_

_Romulus raised his hand, but when he went to bring it down across Remus’s face again, he found he couldn’t; someone had caught his wrist in a tight, unrelenting grip. Romulus found himself face to face with a, obviously very angry Sirius Black. When Black spoke, his voice was eerily calm. “Never. Again.”_

_“Let go of me,” Romulus grunted, trying to pull his hand out of Black’s iron grip._

_“I swear to God, if you ever fucking touch him again, I won’t be nearly as calm as I am right now,” Black growled, his face inches from Romulus’s._

_“Sirius,” Remus snapped wearily, gripping his boyfriend’s arm and tugging his sleeve. “Just…just come on, okay? Let him go.”_

_Black obeyed at once, and Romulus was so surprised he almost fell over as he was forced to quickly redistribute his weight to stand straight again. Romulus raised his eyebrows; Sirius Black didn’t take orders, and he definitely didn’t fret over any of his past conquests the way he was fretting over Remus right then. Black touched Remus’s cheek and winced, but was all too aware that Remus had been hurt much, much worse than this before. Black sighed softly and trailed his hand down Remus’s arm to take his hand._

_“Boys!” McGonagall snapped, coming to a halt a few paces away from them. “I want all of you in my office. Right now.”_

_“I think I’ll be joining you, Minerva,” all three boys started when Dumbledore’s voice put in from behind McGonagall. “I have a few questions myself.” His serious, troubled gaze lingered on Remus before flickering back to McGonagall._

“What did Dumbledore ask you about that day, when he took you to his office?” Romulus asked, recalling how he’d seen Remus leave Dumbledore’s office right after Romulus had been allowed to leave after being suitably lectured by McGonagall. Remus had been rubbing his eyes irritably and practically collapsed into Sirius’s arms outside the gargoyle, clinging to the taller boy like he was the only thing Remus had left.

Remus pursed his lips and moved the screeching kettle from the stove. “You remember that?”

“Yes,” Romulus replied shortly. “What did he say?”

“He was asking about Dad,” Remus replied quietly, pouring the hot water over the dry oats in the chipped glass bowl. “He was concerned that you had left, wanted to know why. He asked about how Dad and I got along. Things like that.”

“What did you tell him?” Romulus asked carefully, afraid he was asking too many questions and would scare Remus into shutting him out and refusing to respond.

Remus turned and put the oatmeal on the opposite edge of the table from Romulus, as if he was afraid to get too close. He snorted derisively. “What do you think I told him? You left because you and him fought and you were an unruly teenager who wanted more freedom than he’d give you. Him and me got along great. No problems.”

“He believed you?” Romulus asked.

Remus shrugged and picked at a spot of dried sauce on the counter. “No. But he couldn’t do anything about it if I wouldn’t tell him.”

“You should have,” Romulus said quickly. Remus shot him an accusing glare and opened his mouth to reply, but Romulus cut him off. “No, I should have. You were just a kid, you don’t deserve to get blamed for that. I should have told Dumbledore what was happening the second I got to Hogwarts, I should have told one of our Muggle teachers when we were little, I should have told someone.”

“We didn’t have a choice,” Remus said quietly.

“Yes, we did,” Romulus shook his head.

Remus raised an eyebrow, the way Romulus remembered so clearly from when Remus had done it constantly as a teenager; their Dad had hated it. Romulus smiled a little. “That used to piss Dad off.”

“Why do you think I learned how to do it?” Remus smirked, leaning back on the counter.

Romulus laughed, and Remus jumped a little, like the sound surprised him. It wasn’t perfect, but at least Remus was talking to him again.

Romulus smiled, but his chest ached with an empty, guilty feeling; he hated that whatever progress he made with patching up their relationship over the next few days would be torn to shreds a matter of hours after the Moon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The way I wanted this chapter to happen didn't happen, because it got too long, so I'm just going to split it into two and give you guys an update now. I hope you liked it.
> 
> Review if you have a second! Thank you so much:)
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: mentions of child abuse, some language (maybe), and RAPE (thought it's not really graphic) I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.

               “What about this one?” Remus examined one of the brooms on display. Truth be told, he had little to no idea what constituted a “good broom”, but he figured that this one must be nice, considering the staggeringly high price on the tag.             

               Sirius snorted and ruffled Remus’s hair playfully. “I’m sure Harry would appreciate that you tried to help, Remus.”

               Remus shrugged, not overly concerned that he and followed Sirius as the taller man made his way across the store towards a broom on display on the other side of the room. Remus found himself running into Sirius’s chest when Sirius stopped walking suddenly and turned to face him, gripping Remus’s arms tightly. “Sirius, what are you--?”

               Sirius scrutinized him with concern and brushed Remus’s hair out of his eyes. “How are you feeling?”

               “Fine,” Remus replied, cocking an eyebrow at Sirius. He was a little tired and sore, but that always happened before the Moon. It wasn’t anything new. “Stop worrying, Sirius. I’ve been doing this since I was five.”

               “That,” Sirius sighed softly and squeezed Remus’s arms, pulling the man closer to him for a quick hug, appreciating the solid reassurance that Remus was there with him, safe. “Is not what I was talking about.”

               “I don’t know what you mean, then,” Remus shrugged and moved away from Sirius, rubbing his own arms and looking around self-consciously. No one was looking at them, though; the store was relatively empty. “Is that the broom you wanted? I don’t see how it’s any different than the one I pointed out…”

               Sirius let it go, knowing he wouldn’t get anything from Remus if the man was determined to shut him out, and followed Remus over to the broom he’d been eyeing a few moments ago.

 

 

               “…so I told him that if he was going to keep lying, I’d get a warrant and we’d find the stuff anyway,” Sirius shifted the long, wrapped package in his arms and held it more tightly to himself. Diagon Alley wasn’t horribly crowded, not nearly as bad as it was at the beginning of the school year, but it was fairly busy.

               “I’m assuming you found his stash,” Remus allowed a small grin to tug at his mouth. As much as he still felt guilt about the way they’d treated Snape at Hogwarts, he couldn’t help but feel a little resentment towards the man after the way he’d been treating Harry.

               “Of course we did,” Sirius saw Remus’s lips quirk into a smile. He was proud of Remus for letting his bitter feelings for Snape show instead of pushing them aside, but felt the familiar stir of resentment at the thought of why Remus disliked Snape so much. “But somehow, while we were gone to get a warrant from a judge, he got a permit for the dragon blood, dated a week before the delivery date on the bottles.”

               “Damn,” Remus muttered. “Of course he did. I’d be disappointed if he hadn’t.”

               “Dumbledore would never let us arrest him anyway,” Sirius pointed out, knowing exactly what Remus would say to that before the words came out of his mouth. “He’s probably the one who forged him the permit the second he heard we searched the creep’s office.”

               Remus rolled his eyes and tilted his head in agreement. “I trust Dumbledore. Even if Snape is…is a jerk, it doesn’t mean that he’s a Death Eater.”

               Sirius shook his head and moved the broom to one arm so he could wrap the other around Remus’s waist. Remus allowed him to pull him closer to his side and moved his arm so it was loosely draped around Sirius’s waist. Maybe it was because he was getting older, or because Harry’s upcoming birthday was making him sentimental, but Sirius smiled at the feel of Remus’s strong arm circled around his waist and the man’s slim body pressed against his side.

               “Your capacity for forgiveness never ceases to amaze me,” Sirius pursed his lips and squeezed Remus’s waist tightly.

               Remus smiled humorlessly and ducked his head so his honey colored hair hid his eyes. “It’s not forgiveness.”

              

 

               Snape saw them before Lucius did. He stopped halfway through what he was saying about the potion Lucius was asking about and stared, caught off guard by seeing Black and Lupin making their way down the cobblestone street. Black’s arm wound its way around the werewolf’s waist and pulled him closer; Snape’s lip curled. Lupin smiled shyly at his partner, ducking his head and hiding his grin with his thick golden hair. Black looked inordinately pleased with himself for making Lupin smile. It was pathetic.

               “What are you looking at Severus?” Lucius asked, turning and following Snape’s gaze with his pale eyes until they came to rest on Black and Lupin. When he saw them, his eyebrows drew together for a moment before his lips unfurled into a lazy grin. “Oh. What a pleasant surprise.”

               “Malfoy,” Snape said warningly, not liking the look in Lucius’s eye. “Leave him be.”

               “I just want to say hello,” Lucius said innocently, and he was striding away towards the couple before Snape could say anything to stop him.

               Lucius intercepted Black and Lupin as they weaved through the people on the street and made their way towards the exit into the Leaky Cauldron. Black caught sight of Malfoy first and stopped short, gripping Lupin’s arm to stop him before he could run right into Lucius.

               “Malfoy,” Black greeted him coldly. He shifted his body so that he was standing protectively in front of Lupin, trying to block him from Lucius’s view. 

               “Black,” Lucius nodded to him before moving his eyes to Lupin, his smile lazy and suggestive. “Remus.”

               “Excuse us,” Black tried to push by Lucius, but found himself being easily blocked by the man. Lucius grinned down at them, his gaze raking over Lupin’s body. Black turned to go around him, pulling Lupin with him, and snarling at Lucius, but stopped when he saw Snape standing there. He shifted Lupin behind him again, clutching at the smaller man’s jacket to move him firmly out of Snape’s line of vision. “What do you want?”

               “We just came over to say hello, see how you were doing,” Lucius said, voice dripping with false politeness. “I haven’t seen you in years, Remus. Not since Hogwarts.”

               “I was hoping to keep it that way,” Lupin said, his normally soft voice harsh.

               “I certainly wasn’t,” Lucius smiled. “I heard your brother was around again because he got divorced. He must be on his third wife by now.”

               Lupin raised his eyebrows in reluctant agreement. Snape noticed that Lupin was gripping the hem of Black’s shirt tightly.

               “Tell him I said hello,” Lucius said, leaning closer to Lupin. Black snarled quietly and tried to push the werewolf further behind him. Lupin shot him a dark look and pulled away from Black, obviously wanting to show he could protect himself (but kept an iron grip on Black’s shirt, Snape noted). “And tell him I said thank you, you know. For letting us borrow you from your Daddy.”

               There was a sudden flurry of motion and a loud thump and crack, and next thing Snape knew, Lucius was on the ground, pinned there by a furious Remus Lupin. Lupin’s chest heaved and he gripped the front of Lucius’s robes, digging his knees into Malfoy’s elbows to keep him from moving his arms. He leaned over Lucius, his honey colored hair falling around his flushed cheeks. “Stay the fuck away from me. I’m not a scared kid anymore, and I will not let you do this to me.”

               And damn it if the only thought Snape had at that moment was of how fucking beautiful Remus Lupin had turned out to be.

              

 

               Romulus made his way to Dumbledore’s office, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. This was the last time he was going to have to pretend to get along with the old man; he’d been putting up with him for far too long, and Romulus had a few questions for the man that he wanted answers to before everything came out into the open after the Moon. He gave the Gargoyle the password (Sugar Quills; Romulus hated them, Remus had always been the one with a sweet tooth), and it jumped aside to let him in.

               “Hello, Romulus,” Dumbledore greeted him, sliming warmly and motioning to the chair in front of his desk. “I trust you’re well.”

               “I’m fine,” Romulus nodded, taking a seat. “Staying with Remus for now, at least. Until I can find a new place.”

               “I’m sorry to hear about your divorce,” Dumbledore said sincerely.

               Romulus smiled politely. “Thank you.” She was an idiot and only wanted me for my money, and yet again, I have to watch my love life fall apart while my _werewolf_ brother has his fucking perfect relationship with Sirius Black, but thank you.

               “Has there been any movement by the Death Eaters on your end?” Dumbledore asked after a few moments, examining Romulus curiously, obviously wondering why he was there.

               Romulus shrugged and shook his head. “No. There have been murmurs of the Dark Lord returning, but no one has found any concrete evidence to go off of yet. Even if someone did find him, there would be virtually no way to bring him back completely without Harry’s blood.”

               “I suppose that’s a good thing,” Dumbledore leaned back in his chair. “Harry is protected by the blood spell so long as Lily and James are buried on the property, and besides that Remus has an unusual aptitude when it comes to wards. That cottage is one of the safest places Harry can be.”

               “Listen, Albus,” Romulus began softly. “If…if someone did somehow get rid of Harry’s parents, moved them off the property…would the blood spell hold?”

               “No,” Dumbledore replied, regarding Romulus with mild suspicion and surprise. “Why do you ask?”

               “I need to know what to look out for,” Romulus lied smoothly. He could feel the old man picking at his mind to see if he was telling the truth and he almost scoffed out loud. If he couldn’t shield his thoughts perfectly from the view of others, how far would he have gotten when he was spying on Lucius? “If I them start to talk about the bodies, I’ll know what they’re planning. Is there any other way to break the spell, anything I should watch out for?”

               “No, that’s the only way,” Dumbledore seemed satisfied with the answer. “And Lucius remains unsuspicious?”

               “Of course,” Romulus nodded, firmly thinking only about how he was gathering information for Dumbledore, and letting none of his true intentions slip to the front of his mind. “He has no idea I’m working for you.”

               “Very good,” Dumbledore smiled, eyes twinkling kindly. It made Romulus sick. Dumbledore could sit here and use them like pawns, and people kept on with it, kept following his orders because he made you feel like you actually mattered to him in the scheme of things. He still had Remus believing it, and it wasn’t right; Dumbledore gave him the validation Remus so desperately craved from their own father. “Is there anything else?”

               “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about what happened my seventh year here,” Romulus said carefully, biting at the inside of his bottom lip. He fidgeted nervously, worrying the hem of his shirt between his fingers. “About…about what I did to Remus to gain Malfoy’s trust. Seeing him…he hates me, Albus. I just wanted to…was there any other way I could have handled it? Did it have to happen?” he hesitated before pressing on recklessly. “Did you know what Lucius wanted when you asked me to try to get on his good side?”

               Dumbledore scrutinized Romulus with a concerned expression before nodding slowly. Romulus’s stomach dropped. Dumbledore had chosen him knowing what would happen to Remus. Remus practically idolized Dumbledore; it would kill him to know that the man who he had trusted completely through his teenage years and adult life had basically offered him up like a lamb for slaughter to Lucius Malfoy and his sick perversions. “Yes, I did. It had to happen. You did it for the greater good, Romulus. Remus would understand that.”

               Romulus suppressed a shudder and tugged his cloak around him more tightly, feeling a chill settle in his bones. “That’s what scares me.”

 

 

_“Romulus, what is so important?” Remus’s voice drifted down the hallway and into the classroom Snape and a handful of others were waiting in. “It’s three a.m. The Moon’s in less than a day.”_

_“It’s important, Remus,” Romulus said firmly, his voice coming closer. “Let’s just go in here and talk for a second, alright?”_

_“Is this about Dad? Did something happen?” Remus’s voice was suddenly tense with worry. Romulus tensed; how could Remus still worry about their dad, after all he’d done? “Romulus…”_

_“Come on,” Romulus pushed his younger brother into the class room and pulled the door shut behind them._

_“I don’t understand why…” Remus trailed off when he realized there were other people in the room. “What…Romulus, what’s going on?”_

_“I’m trying to help you,” Romulus said softly, apologetically. He positioned himself in front of the door. “You and Sirius…that has to stop.”_

_“Why are they here?” Remus demanded, his voice shaking almost imperceptibly. “Romulus, let me out.” He reached for his wand, but found that it wasn’t in his belt where he usually kept it. Romulus motioned to Remus’s wand where it was sticking out of his own pocket._

_Remus took a step back and found himself bumping right into the chest of a seventh year Ravenclaw who grabbed the smaller boy and shoved him further into the room. Remus stumbled and caught himself on a desk, disoriented. Moonlight shone through the large windows of the classroom, and it felt like it was burning his skin; he could feel the almost-full Moon tugging at the wolf pacing restlessly in his mind._

_“Remus,” Romulus moved to stand in front of his brother, gripping his shoulders to turn Remus to face him. Remus was pale and obviously exhausted, that dark shadows under his eyes more dramatic in the cold light of the moon. Remus scratched at his own arms uncomfortably; the moonlight on his skin was making him uncomfortably itchy. Romulus felt sick that he had to do this. It was the only way Lucius would trust him; it was some kind of sick initiation into his inner circle. “Listen to me. You have to leave him.”_

_“No,” Remus replied snappishly, trying to push Romulus off of him. “Let me go.”_

_“I told you he’d have to learn the hard way,” Lucius spoke up, stepping forward. He shoved a few of the desks out of the way, opening a circle of space on the floor. “You’ve done what you can, Romulus.”_

_Remus still didn’t understand what was going on, but he was scared now. He didn’t have his wand, he was weak from the approaching moon, and he was surrounded by Lucius Malfoy’s future Death Eaters of Britain Club._

_Lucius moved closer, until he was inches away from Remus. Remus tried to take a step back, frantic to put some distance between them, but found himself pressed against his brother and unable to move any further away. Lucius smiled darkly and raised a hand to touch Remus’s cheek, stroking it gently. Remus smacked his hand away. “Don’t touch me, Malfoy.”_

_Lucius pursed his lips, pleased, and backed away. “I knew you’d be a firecracker, Lupin. I guess we’ll have to take care of that before you and I have our…chat.”_

_Two of the others in the room, a Slytherin girl and the boy from Ravenclaw, moved towards Remus and grabbed his arms. They tried to pull him away from his brother, but he kept a strong grip on Romulus’s shirt._

_“Remus, let go,” Romulus muttered, trying to untangle his brother’s fingers from the front of his shirt. “I had to do this.”_

_“No,” Remus clung to his brother and tried to bury himself in his chest. Romulus could feel his warm breath against his skin and was painfully reminded of the day he’d left home for good. “Rom, please, please don’t do this, please…” It broke Romulus’s heart to hear his brother’s pleas; it was eerily similar to the way Remus had begged their father not to touch him on the day before the Moon, when his body was so sensitive it hurt him to be even touched too roughly._

_It had always amazed Romulus how exact it was; the second it was midnight on the night before the Moon, Remus would shoot up in bed, woken by the sudden discomfort he felt of the sheets against his skin. Over the next few hours, it got worse and worse until by the time he was about to transform he couldn’t even have people looking at him for too long without feeling uncomfortably itchy where their eyes rested on his skin._

_He thought of Dumbledore’s words, “Anything you have to do, Romulus, do it. We need to know what they’re up to. Malfoy is dangerous, and we need someone on the inside.”_

_“Let go, Remus,” Romulus forced himself to shove his brother away. The second Remus’s grip on Romulus was dislodged, Remus was yanked away by Lucius’s two goons and thrown to the floor._

_Remus looked up at his brother, eyes shining with confusion and betrayal. He tried to stand up again, but was roughly shoved back to the floor by one of the other’s in the room. “Rom…”_

_Remus hadn’t called him that in years. Romulus turned away from the classroom and faced the wall, biting the knuckles of his right hand and ignoring the twisting pain in his gut._

_For the Order. For the Order._

_His shoulders hunched a little more every time he heard the familiar sound of a fist or a foot hitting flesh. He felt like he owed it to Remus to listen, but he couldn’t bring himself to watch; he didn’t deserve to pretend this wasn’t happening when Remus had to live through it._

_Remus didn’t make a sound as he was mercilessly beaten by the small crowd of Lucius’s followers._

_Finally, Romulus heard Lucius’s soft command to stop. Romulus turned back to the room, afraid of what he was going to see._

_Remus was curled up on the stone floor, nothing more than a shaking, bloody lump. Blood streaked his hair and torn clothing. His wrist was limp and bent the wrong way, and he flinched every time he tried to take a breath that was too deep._

_Lucius approached him and turned Remus over so he was lying on his back. Remus didn’t fight; he couldn’t. His eyes were glassy and confused and his movements were sluggish, like he wasn’t quite in control of his body. Concussion; Romulus observed detachedly._

_Lucius pushed Remus’s hair out of his eyes and leaned down to seal his lips over Remus’s._

_Remus’s body tensed, but he was too weak to fight back beyond trying in vain to push Lucius off of him._

_Lucius grinned and straddled Remus’s hips, leaning back to rest his weight on the boy’s thighs. Remus’s blood was smeared on Lucius’s bottom lip. “The rest of you can go; I don’t think he’ll be much trouble.” His gaze flickered to Snape. “Unless you’d rather stay, Severus.”_

_Remus squirmed weakly under him and turned his head to the side, squeezing his eyes closed so he didn’t have to look at the monster on top of him; this wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening; his brother would never let this happen. He tried to buck the older boy off, but Lucius only leered down at him and moved his hands to Remus’s wrists so he was pinning Remus’s arms to the ground._

_“Rom…Romulus…” Remus pleaded, digging his nails into the stone floor so hard his fingernails bent and cracked. “Please…please help…”_

_Romulus blinked and swallowed past the painful lump in his throat. He felt sick, like something was wrapping around his chest and pulling tightly and twisting his stomach painfully at the same time; he was having a hard time breathing. He fumbled for the doorknob and practically fell out of the room. He slammed the door behind him and collapsed back against it. He shut his eyes tightly, but that didn’t stop the tears from squeezing past his clenched eyelids and dripping down his face._

_He didn’t move, no matter how much he wanted to. He stayed hunched up against the door, feeling his chest tighten more painfully with every noise he heard from within; Remus’s soft, hoarse voice, pleading lowly for Lucius to stop; Lucius’s vicious, humiliating taunts mixed with lustful words of twisted praise; Remus whimpering quietly, trying valiantly to hold back his sobs; Lucius telling him to shut up and take it like a fucking man, that he should be used to it with Dad, and with Black…_

_At Black’s name, a small, choked sob escaped Remus’s lips. There was the sound of a slap a moment later._

_“He’ll never love you after he finds out about this,” Lucius vowed quietly. “He’d never love someone like you anyway; Sirius deserves someone who’s not…damaged.”_

_A few moments later, the soft, low murmurs suddenly rose into a scream of pure agony. Romulus covered his ears and hunched over, pressing his forehead to his knees. It felt like the scream ripped through him and tore him apart; he was sure the whole castle must have heard it. The scream died down to an incoherent series of words that were sobbed out in painful gasps; Romulus twitched when he realized what Remus was saying._

_“No…please, stop, please, it HURTS. God…God, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Dad…Please….Rom, help me, please, I promise I’ll be good, please, I didn’t mean to, Daddy…”_

_Romulus stuffed his fist in his mouth and choked down a sob. He was having a flashback, and a bad one; Remus hadn’t called their Dad “Daddy” since he was five, he hadn’t begged for Romulus like that since he was seven._

_He did this. This was his fault. He was sitting here crying while Remus was being raped. He could go in there and stop it, but he didn’t._

_He clenched his fists and thought of the Order, thought of the lives they could save having him on the inside of Malfoy’s circle, the information they could get from him; it could help win the oncoming war, or at least turn the tide in their favor._

_It was a necessary sacrifice for Remus to make; he just didn’t know it yet._

_“Maybe you should go, Lupin.”_

_Romulus started at the voice and peered up at the source of the voice. Snape was standing on the opposite side of the hallway from where Romulus was hunched over. His eyes glittered in the pale torch light and his expression was solemn._

_“What, and leave him here alone so you can have a go at him after Lucius is done?” Romulus snapped angrily._

_Snape set his jaw irritably. “Lucius may like taking someone against their will; that doesn’t mean I do.”_

_“You want him, though,” Romulus pointed out cruelly. Snape blinked at him, giving nothing away. “You wish you could have him like that, you want him to sleep with you. Newsflash, Snape; he never will. He’s not interested, and he never will be, so leave him the hell alone! He doesn’t need people like you and Malfoy ogling him and leering at him everywhere he goes.”_

_“I won’t deny I find your brother attractive, and I would sleep with him if he ever asked,” Snape said bluntly, taking a step closer to Romulus. Romulus wrapped his hand around his wand cautiously, unsure of his intentions. “But not like that. And not solely for the reason you believe. Remus is much more than a pretty face, Romulus, and some people recognize him for it.”_

_“I’m his brother,” Romulus snarled, rising to his feet, his grip on his wand tightening. “Don’t act like you know him better than I do.”_

_“If you’re his brother, then why did you let this happen,” Snape said quietly, his voice laced with anger. “Why did you bring him here, knowing what Lucius wanted? To get into Lucius’s little club?”_

_Romulus didn’t reply, just glared at the younger boy and ground his teeth together, stung by the harsh words slipping from Snape’s lips. He wished like hell that he could tell Snape the real reason, make him see that he had to do this, that he had no choice…_

_“Was it worth it?” Snape asked softly. “Was getting into Lucius’s stupid little group of imbeciles worth your little brother being violated like this?”_

_A low, broken wail floated up from the crack under the rough wooden door and Romulus heard Lucius roll off of Remus and stand up. There was the rustle of clothes before Lucius’s voice spoke softly. “If you tell a teacher what happened here, I will make sure everyone in this school knows you’re a werewolf by the next morning. Do you understand?”_

_Silence._

_There was the sound of a palm hitting someone’s face, hard._

_“I said do you understand?” Lucius hissed._

_“Yes,” Remus’s voice was weak and hoarse. He sounded like he was close to tears, if not already crying._

_“Good boy,” Lucius sneered. I heard him move towards the door, his shoes clicking loudly on the stone floor. His steps paused for a moment when he was close to the door and he added over his shoulder, “You did beautifully, Remus. I see why Sirius keeps you around, sweetheart.”_

_The door to the room was pulled open and Lucius stepped out, looking slightly ruffled, but otherwise composed. His appearance showed no trace of what he’d just done. He smiled at Romulus and moved closer, shutting the door behind him. Romulus caught a fleeting glance of a huddled figure bathed in moonlight before the door blocked any view of the room._

_“I don’t think Black will be a problem anymore,” Lucius said smugly, smoothing the front of his robes. “Good job, Romulus. I think you’ve proven yourself.”_

_“Have I?” Romulus gritted his teeth and tried to smile, pushing aside the thought of his baby brother curled up and bleeding just beyond the door._

_“Giving up the only family member you have, the brother you’ve spent your life protecting?” Lucius smirked. “If you can do that, I think you have what we’re looking for. Come with me.”_

_He started down the hallway._

_Romulus hovered in the alcove where the door hiding his brother was, torn between following Lucius and leaving Remus there alone._

_“I’ll take care of it,” Snape spoke up from his place near the wall. “Go with him.”_

_“I swear to God…” Romulus breathed threateningly. “If I find out you even looked at him in a way he didn’t like…”_

_“I’m going to speak with him, and then I am going to get Sirius,” Snape said calmly. It pained him to say those words. He desperately wanted to be able to comfort Remus on his own, but now was not the time for jealousy to get in the way. Remus would want someone he trusted implicitly, if he wanted someone at all, and as much as Snape hated to admit it, that person was Sirius Black. “Now go.”_

_“Romulus?” Lucius called. He turned and looked down the hallway, eyes squinting to try to make out Romulus in the faint glow of the flickering torches. “Come on.”_

_Romulus hesitated for a few moments before he nodded and rushed down the hall to catch up with Lucius. The damage was done; he had to make Remus’s sacrifice worth something._

               Lucius grinned up at Remus and tilted his head, examining the werewolf carefully. “As much as I’d like to, I’m not doing anything to you right now. I just wanted to have a polite conversation.”

               “That’s the last thing you’d want from me,” Remus muttered, pushing himself to his feet and stepping away from Lucius. He waited for Lucius to stand before continuing. “Stay away from me, and stay away from my family.”

               “Oh, yes, Harry’s birthday is in two days, isn’t it?” Lucius observed, watching Remus closely for a reaction. “Grow up so fast, don’t they? Pity it’s the day after the full moon.”

               “Good bye, Malfoy,” Remus snapped, grabbing Sirius’s hand and pulling him forward.  He slid by Malfoy with Sirius trailing behind him. Sirius took care to accidently elbow Malfoy hard in the side. Remus glanced up from the dirty cobblestones and found himself face to face with Snape.

               Snape’s expression inexplicably softened for a fraction of a second when his dark eyes met Remus’s. “Good evening, Lupin.”

               Remus looked away and kept walking, tightening his grip on Sirius’s hand and determinedly not looking back.  

               Sirius allowed Remus to drag him along, concerned with the way Remus was shaking and how pale he’d become.

               He glanced up into the darkening sky and saw that it was one of those days when the moon had appeared in the sky before the sun had completely given up its reign. Tomorrow was the full; the orb was almost completely round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there it is. I hope you all liked it. Leave a review if you can, I really appreciate them!
> 
> Next chapter: the Moon, Sirius and Romulus argue, and FINALLY what Romulus has going on with Malfoy.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought if you have a minute! I should be able to update soon.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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